During some of the most difficult moments in my life, I have found help in the words written by the apostle Paul in his letter to the Romans. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”
There have been times when I have relied upon that promise, and my prayers have been limited to inner, or even audible, groans. It is then that it seems as if the Spirit is opening up a channel to God through which I can reach out to Him, even when I can find no words to adequately express my desperation.
So I know from these experiences that words aren’t always necessary for communicating with God. But, as ironic as it sounds, there are times when it seems helpful, even important, to me to find words that convey my lack of words.
A few years ago, I found words for my inexpressible prayers in the Jesus Prayer. I believe that it was in a copy of Henri Nouwen’s The Way of the Heart, which was loaned to me by a friend, that I was first introduced to the Jesus Prayer. Though Nouwen was a Catholic, the prayer has its origins in the Eastern Orthodox Church. It simply says this:
“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me, a sinner.”
As I recall, Nouwen suggested that the words of that prayer were like place-holders for whatever needed to be expressed. If it was worship, the words could convey that. If it was confession, the words fit that, too. If it was grief, they expressed that, as well.
And so, at various times, specific words or phrases within this brief prayer can become the focus of our heart. “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God”. “Have mercy on me, a sinner”. Perhaps, simply, “Jesus”, repeated over and over again.
In my own practice, I sometimes pray the prayer exactly as I learned it. But the words that come most naturally to me in moments of distress are a variant on that original. The prayer I most often find myself praying is, “Lord Jesus, have mercy on my soul”.
And though it is my soul for which I am asking mercy, it is often another’s plight I am lifting up. But, as I plead for mercy, it seems obvious to me (and I trust, to God, as well) that it is the other person’s need which is weighing on my soul and the ultimate subject of my prayer.
The greater my sense of urgency and the stronger my passion, the less my own words seem capable of expressing what I need to say. It is then that the Jesus Prayer becomes a conduit of all that I cannot adequately speak on my own. It is almost as if the prayer is an envelope to carry to God any prayer so consequential that words are insufficient to express it.
There have been times when repeating these words over and over felt like the groaning of the Spirit which Paul wrote about, combined with Paul’s instruction to pray without ceasing. What is surprising to me as I am praying this prayer is the sensation that this is not just vain repetition. In fact, it feels quite the opposite. It seems to be a genuine heart cry which God hears and honors. Many times, as I have repeated the words, I have felt a peace which comes with transferring something from my control to God’s, from my inadequacy to His sufficiency.
Perhaps this prayer can help you, too, express the cry of your heart and find God’s peace when words fail you. Shalom.
